"Trusting in God"

I haven't updated my blog in several months. It is a blanket of snow outside, so I am stuck inside with time to blog about what is going on lately with the Newberry family. In the past months many things have happened, good and not so good. First, Darren lost his job back in Oct. This is a good and bad thing. I have wanted him to leave for quite some time but, working for his family he always felt obligated and tethered to stay in a bad situation. Then with the economy tanking, he was forced to leave which will be a blessing for him long term just bad timing with the adoption in process. I too left my job to pursue a new opportunity to work in home health with a good friend/former boss. It probably was not the best timing but, i knew I wanted to act fast and seize an opportunity that might not be there in the future. So with that being said, life has changed a bit. Darren is on unemployment and fiercely networking to find a new job. It has been so wonderful to have him home and help out around the house. He liked being home for about a week then he quickly got bored with it. I am so busy trying to learn the ropes with being a home health therapist and the ups and downs of juggling my schedule and trying to keep my income the same when patient load goes down. Good thing my job is in demand so I have been able to keep busy at former homes I have worked at. Skylar turned 11 this week, she is growing so big. She is playing basketball with Darren coaching and doing very well in school.

Let me back up a bit to tell you some good news, our church approved us for a $1000.00 matching grant and a $2000.00 interest free loan! When we sent out the letter to our friends and family I had no idea of the support we would get. We received 1,500 dollars which gave us a total of 7,000. Our home study was also completed in June, so we were so ready for us to get a call. We did get a call from our precious adoption coordinator Christa about two weeks ago. She wanted us to meet a potential birth mother that was due with a baby boy Feb. 2. The mother wanted to meet with three families to make a better decision about her adoption plan. After Darren and I considered our circumstances and prayed, we felt it was not the right time and I made the dreaded call I had been avoiding to Christa and told her to put our book on hold for now.

That is why I titled my blog "Trusting in God." That is all I can do. I am not going to lie and say that I am at peace completely with this because I am so sad, anxious, and tired of waiting to be a mommy again to a precious little child. This process for me has been very long (6-7 years) of trying to get pregnant, doubts of marriage and trying to give up the idea of having another one, to seeds of hope planted in me and knowing God has a better plan, Looking into Dillon international and starting the process, changing our minds and trying 4 insemination's, to finally choosing Catholic Charities and really putting forth the effort. Sigh, I know crazy isn't it.

Okay, so I guess everyone is going through their story. Sometimes i just tell myself "stop your whining, at least we have our health." I know, I am very blessed. But to all of you out there in blog land who know what it is like to yearn for a baby and feel so defeated at times with the process, you know what I am talking about. I guess I am looking for support right now from faithful Christians and moms that have been through this adoption process. Please pray for the job my husband needs so that we can continue the adoption process. Also, please pray for the finances to pay for our adoption through Catholic Charities. We are so blessed to have raised 7,000 so far but need about 8,000 more.

Thank you for listening or reading about my story. Please feel free to give any advice, my heart is always open to hear and receive.